Forgiveness
by princesscauliflower
Summary: Tori swears that she will never forgive the woman responsible for destroying her family. But when Tori and Andre create something together other than music, Tori is left with a secret and a betrayal bigger than the one that tore her family apart. Years later, Tori makes a decision to come back home, and comes head to head with the past. Can she ever forgive and be forgiven? Tandre
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious! **

When my hands stopped shaking and I could pretend that my heart beating so quickly was just from the intense run away from my house, I stopped on the sidewalk and dialed Andre's number.

"Heyyyyy, Tori." His voice hung wrong across the interconnect, bored and unassuming. I was going to cry anyways, but the fact that he was still having a pleasant, typical Tuesday night while my world was falling apart around me did nothing to ease the fact that I felt utterly alone.

"Tori?" He paused, waiting as the sounds of his room swirled around him; the ruffling of the blankets on his bed and a barely audible tune being played on the clock radio that he kept on at all times. His grandma let out a sharp yell. He sighed into the silence coming from my end. "Girl, you gotta stop butt calling me."

I wanted to say something, like a 'Sorry, yea, I'm here' or 'Can I come over?' but really, what could I say? What could possibly come out of my mouth that wouldn't result in a muddled explanation and some sort of sobbing session? I waited silently, pressing my hand to my face to cover my mouth that threatened to wail. Andre's grandma yelled again.

"Hold up Grandma! Just don't touch the hot st-" The phone clicked.

My pear phone felt slippery and burning hot in my hands, like holding onto a steaming coffee in the middle of August. The phone must have been feeling the heat too, acting annoyed and tired, it let out a shriller and angrier beep with each new incoming message. Or maybe the phone wasn't annoyed at the heat, but at the constant new messages, voice mails and missed calls it was having to deal with and turn away.

Before I could throw the phone away from me, it started vibrating, indicating that Andre was calling back. If I didn't answer I would be stranded here in a crying mess on a public side-walk in the middle of a heavily wooded neighbourhood. If I did answer then I would surely explode into tears.

I let it vibrate a few times and breathed in deeply, trying to pull it together, before doing my best to calmly lead the phone to my ear.

"Hey, Tori, I think you butt dialed me. Either that or Lil-Red's been snatching your phone again and called to chat but then got distracted by dancing to the dial tone."

I tried to laugh but it came out watery, "No, Cat isn't being a phone hijacker tonight-" I paused then hurried on before he could utter the question I felt him forming. "-could I come over?"

"Yea, sure, you ok?" He asked, confused. His room was strangely quiet around him.

"Don't ask-" Tears started to fall on the last syllable and made their way into my voice."I'm in Brentside by that old playground. I just... It's just hard to explain. Can you please just come pick me up?"

"You're in Brentside?" Andre seemed to be waiting for an explanation that I did not want to even try and give over the phone. "Uh, ok, I guess I'll be there soon... You're okay though?"

"I'm ok." I sniffled, "Thank you so much for picking me up." I said and hung up. I wanted to fall on my knees and weep, that he had even called me back had been a miracle.

I stood there on the sidewalk looking like a sobbing crazy person and tried not to think about all these unanswerable questions that bounced around in my head. How long had 'it' been happening? Did anyone else know? Would it be betrayal tell? Wouldn't telling be the right thing to do? But what about loyalty? What would happen if I told? What then?

No answers appeared to my questions. Only a persisting mental image bringing me back to the hot stuffy room. My shouts from moments before ringing in my ears, seeming mundane and so completely naive as I discovered his broad, disgustingly naked back hovering over her splayed out brown hair on the floor of the bedroom. I hadn't seen their faces, just flesh against flesh. Disgustingly wrong.

Then I was clumsily bounding down carpeted steps, pounding down the concrete stairs outside my house, two at a time. Running down the sidewalk and hoping that the physical exertion and this strange heat of May could somehow make me focus on the physical pain rather than the emotional. I knew I had to get away, but I didn't really realize how fast I had been running, like the track and field star that I used to be, until I found myself here.

Away from any bus shelters or train stations. I found myself in in a calm and quiet little neighbourhood where houses were cozily sheltered under large, looming trees, that hummed smoothly in the breeze. A perfect little neighbourhood where everyone was probably tucking their perfect little children into bed, whispering sweet nothings, being perfect little parents whom would never...

Anyways, I had run so fast and in such a blind shock that I ended up in a neighbourhood two blocks from Hollywood Arts. I knew I could have called Beck, but he and Jade were doing something. I could have asked Cat, but I wanted to shelter the tiny girl from having to deal with any serious situations she might not understand, or be able to handle. Robbie didn't have a proper car. Trina was at a movie.

And Andre was my best friend.

When Andre pulled up beside me on the curb I tried my best to cover my mascara that was streaking down my face. I sat down with a thump in his car that was like a vacuum when it came to the sounds of the big shadowy trees of the neighbourhood rustling urgently outside. A girl was trying to win tickets to a concert on the car's radio. Andr turned the radio down and I waited for him to pull away from the curb but he instead let the car idle. "Tori, you sounded pretty messed up on the phone. What's going on and what are you doing all the way in Brentside?"

I couldn't answer. My face was twisted into holding back a fresh wave of tears. Instead he enveloped me in a hug that was so familiar that it must have certainly been better than any hug a family member could had ever given. "Was it Ben?"

"No," I muffled/sobbed into his shirt. It was almost ridiculous he would be asking about Ben, who at the moment seemed like a distant planet and was so completely irrelevant to the situation that it was almost laughable. He wasn't even very important in my life, we had only been dating for two weeks. Nonetheless, Andr relaxed a bit when he found out Ben hadn't done anything.

"Then whats up? You're getting me worried." He said over my shoulder.

The girl on the radio didn't win the One Correction tickets. A Riranna song started to play.

I leaned away from him and took my hands from my eyes. We looked at each other. "I won't judge you whatever you've gotta say, unless you murdered Trina or something" He gave a light chuckle.

I shook my head and turned away to spare him the sight of more tears.

"Ok, Just take your time and breathe." Andre spoke quietly, peeling his eyes away from me after he was finished scanning me over for any signs of physical damage. "Lets head home."

I tried to imagine what I would do after this. How life would go on. I tried to take deep breaths and sit up with dignity. In reality I was just shaking and my eyes looked like I had berry ball slime running down them again.

"My mom-"

The only thing that I could probably do to fix this gooey mascara mess on my face would probably be 10 bottles of hardcore makeup remover. I wiped a slick of black off of my cheek.

"I saw my mother having sex." I blurt out into the quietness in the car.

His eyes widened and he rubbed the steering wheel with his thumb, "Uhm, Oh, Shit." Andre turned to me, his face wonky. "Was it- with your dad?"

I threw my hands up in the air and brought them to my face again, crying. "No, Andre! She was with my dad's stupid bastard bestfriend Gary!"

**...**

**Ohhhhhh shizzzzzz... I agree with Andre, that's so messed up!  
****Anyways, I hope you liked it. This is my first story and I absolutely love Tandre and thought that the Victorious section could use just a little bit more of it ;) Let me know what you think! =) -Princess C. **


	2. Chapter Two

**Hey! I just want to say a HUGE thank you so much to the seven of you that reviewed! You cannot believe how much those reviews meant to me, and I just feel so happy to know that there are other Tandre shippers out there who still want to read about this pairing! Ahhh my shipping heart =) So thanks you guys! I hope that you enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious!**

...

"Ok... g'night... What? No, grandma," He hissed, "No you can't milk spiders..."

Heavy padding followed as Andre ducked into his room, softly closing the flimsy door behind him. Seriously, he had to close it softly or it would probably swing off its hinges. "Okay, grandma's got her meds and you've got your cocoa." I paused my thumb twiddling to look up at him.

He sits down beside me on his bed. "What's on your mind?"

A few hours ago I would have completely broken down at the question, but now something like a fire has come over me. As I recounted all the gruesome details to Andre's horror ridden face a few hours before, the memories became less shocking, more real, and have progressively made me angrier.

I shoot up from the bed. White hot coals seemed to be burning underneath my feet and pushing me to walk to the other side of the room and back again. "I hate her.."

"I get where you're coming from, but hate is a pretty strong word..." Andre says cautiously from the bed.

"I don't care! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her! And I HATE that I knew this was going to happen and I didn't DO anything about it." I said whipping around dangerously. Who was he to tell me not to hate my own mother?

"But you just-"

"Andre! Andre! Cory the clown is coming for me!" His grandma's panicked voice pierces through the wall.

We both pause and look at each other.

"I thought Mr. Clown was gone for good?" I hiss. Andre shakes his head and shudders.

"Nah, he's back and it's starting to freak me out. He's like the shadiest thing she's ever hallucinated. She says he lives in the closet." He whispers. "Her medicine should kick in soon though."

"It's ok grandma, go back to bed!" Andre cups his hands over his mouth and yells but doesn't really have to because the walls are paper-thin and if Charlotte Harris wasn't insane she would probably know a lot more of Andre's secrets, and now a fair bit of mine.

We both listen to hear silence coming from the other room. Andre draws his eyebrows together, turning towards me.

"Ok, so let me get this straight, YOU think you could have prevented this? This is your mom's own crappy decision-making."

"I could have, I saw the texts and heard the late night calls! Even Trina said she didn't trust Gary!"

"But you can't call someone out on something that hasn't happened yet, and what were you going to do, pull them apart in the act? The deeds already been done, Tor." Andre says calmly, wisely, as if he himself has faced this exact situation.

Maybe because he has gone through things of his own.

"Eww, Andre, 'Pull them apart?'"

Andre sighed, "Ok, ok, just what I'm tryin' to say is that you can't blame yourself. Ok? None of this is your fault, I know it doesn't mean much just to say it but you really have to believe that."

"But I- just." I sigh, here come the water works again, stopping mid pace I plop back beside him onto the little twin bed. The corner of a poster flicks my head and pushing it back annoyed, I assume the same position as Andre; knees pulled up to my chest, heads bent towards each other against the wall.

We momentarily pause, listening to the barely audible music playing from his clock radio. Andre hums softly while naturally covering his hand over mine.

"It's ok to cry. I cried a whole lot when-"

He doesn't normally say this, this is usually when our conversations stop, this is the limit to our friendship. I somehow know, like I know that an electric fence is charged, that I should never ask about his parents. And I'm usually not afraid to pry things open and get things out.

Sometimes I don't know when I should just shut up, like my first April at Hollywood Arts. Andre had been acting distant, down and depressed for the whole week.

"Is it a girrrllll?" I had asked, wiggling my eyebrows stupidly, ignoring Robbie shaking his head in warning, "Common Andre! Tell meee! I'm your best friend!"

"Just leave him alone Tori." Beck had said, actually seeming kind of pissed off for once as he got up from the lunch table to go and chase after Andre.

Jade had just sat there, arched her eyebrows, and called me a tactless gank.

Which hurt, because I hated secrets and Beck normally didn't lose his cool like that. It hurt until I found out what had happened to Andre's family.

A tangible sadness comes over him. He wilts like he's not the tough kind of guy who can make girls swoon with his voice.

My pain from my mother's own betrayal to our family kind of blanks out into the distance and I hope that the bottom of his palm is absorbing as much heat and warmth from the top of mine. Andre is always there for everyone else, he always is.

I don't want him to relive the pain for my sake.

"Dre-" I speak to his bent form, his eyes are vaguely staring out his bedroom window.

He continues, "I cried a lot too when things went down. And then they took Cassie with them and- You know, for the longest time I thought it was my fault. I cried cause I was mad at myself. That I hadn't done more, gone along. It was torture."

"You can't do anything about car accidents." I say softly. It's not news to him that I know about everything, I think. We just knew never to cross that line. He nods and blinks a bit when he turns to me.

"Yea. But do you get my point? How is it any different between two consenting adults that you have no control over? When I realized that I couldn't have done anything, I had a lot more peace with myself. I just want you to know that. And that beating yourself up doesn't help when you're trying to forget."

"I don't want to forget the stupid, demented thing she just did," One of my tears drops onto my knee. "I want to hate her forever!"

He rubs my hand and doesn't say anything. "What are you gonna tell your dad why you didn't come home tonight, you think he knows what went down?"

Suddenly we hear a car outside, the engine cuts out and hasty foot steps come from below the open bedroom window. A gentle knock follows from the door downstairs. My eyes grow wide.

"If it's my dad tell him I'm not here, I don't want to deal with it. If it's my mom slam the door in her face." I hiss.

Andre nods and gets up from the bed with a shake. I hear him make his way down the stairs.

His voice drifts upwards, "Hey, Trina."

Trina has obviously been crying. I feel kind of bad that Andre has to deal with two crying Vegas in one day.

"We've looked everywhere for Tori, please tell me she's here." Worry is heavy in her voice.

I'm downstairs standing behind Andre before he can say anything.

"Tori- Baby" Trina comes towards me and wraps me in a big bear hug. In hugs, her large chest has always been slightly comforting, but now it just feels smothering. What is supposed to be a reassuring grasp is actually just making me feel like I'm a tree in the middle of the river, and Trina is just trying claw on to keep from drowning.

"So you know?" Andre asks softly from behind us.

"Yeah," Trina answers him but looks at me, "Dad's waiting in the car, we're going to go to Aunt Livia's tonight."

"Where is mom?" I hate her and want to say I couldn't care less, but I am worried at Trina's response.

"She's off with Gary. The asshole." Trina breathes shakily. "She left a note but I set it on fire."

I would have smiled a bit at Trina setting something on fire, but I'm too busy trying to deflect the invisible grenades that feel so real, each one hitting me with little slicing shrapnels of rejections and betrayal. My mom is gone and I feel like a big clumsy King Kong amidst a city of tiny people trying to take me down."But Auntie Liv lives all the way in Phoenix!" I say instead of breaking into a fresh wave of tears.

"Tori," Trina looks at Andre and then pulls herself together. "Dad needs to get out of our house. We will drive all night if we have to. Our bags our packed and dad is dead set that we will be there tonight."

"But what about school!" I cry. "Our play is in a week and I'm not going to let mom's friggen infidelity ruin it!"

"Tori! Dad needs to get out of here! Like I mean totally out of the LA area or he's actually going to explode."

She looks at me, identical brown eyes searching mine.

"I'm scared too, baby sis. But- We'll come back soon. Right now we don't want to be anywhere near that..." Her voice shakes and tears run down her face as she says, "Her."

All this time Andre has stood there solid behind me. He comes up and wraps his arms around each of us. "It'll be alright."

His hand is gentle on my shoulder when he releases us, something I remember like an itch on my skin. An itch that I can't quite place meaning on.

We make our way onto the humble little porch and stand under the porch light that is surrounded by miniscule bugs. Dad is parked on the street, through the car window I see him hunched over and looking at his lap. It breaks my heart.

"I guess I'll see you soon." I turn and try to smile at Andre's dark figure behind me.

"Thank you for being here for me."

The silence of the neighbourhood is ominous around us.

"Anytime Tor, drive safe." He tries to keep it light hearted and rubs my arm reassuringly. "We'll Skype every night, alright?"

I nod and give him a light hug, not knowing what's in store but thinking that I'd much rather prefer to stay in the cozy little Harris house that always smells like dryer sheets than having to sit in a car with my heartbroken father for five hours.

We say goodbye and Trina and I make our way uncertainly to the car. We pull away to Andre's figure standing like a ghost on the porch, he doesn't wave, and it's dark and I'm in a car, but somehow we still find each other's eyes. I know he will be praying.

That night we are whisked along deserted highways, where sleep becomes tossing and turning, and the silence becomes too heavy to hold, even when the radio is turned on. I hear tires on the road, my dads fading heartbeat and Andre's voice speak to me as I press my head uncomfortably against the window.

Over again in my feverish sleep. Over and Over. The voice of my bestest friend.

It'll be alright." He whispers.

...

**Hey again! I do apologize for this chapter being so melodramatic, Tori is basically a ball of frayed nerves and emotions right now! Next chapter will show her dealing with her feelings in Phoenix, where we will hear more from others in the Victorious gang and things will hopefully take a more lighthearted turn.**

**Anyways, I was nervous writing this chapter because it's very important for me to have Andre and Tori and their relationship in character... which sometimes I'm not so sure I can do properly! Please let me know what you think! And thank you so much for reading! -Princess C. =)**


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